I Have a Secret. I Buy My Own Flowers.

 I Have a Secret. I Buy My Own Flowers.

Last night as I sat on my bed I looked over at a bunch of flowers I had bought. I love star gazer lilies, they are beautiful and fragrant. I am always thankful that I don’t have allergies to flowers, let me tell ya! Last week I bought some lilies and they were not fragrant like star gazer lilies. It was as if they were just meant to look pretty. Then I thought about when I started receiving flowers simply for the beauty of it. It was not too long ago when I was in my late teens (ok, let me be real…it was totally like a LOOOONG time ago!!). Anyway, I was in my late teens when I started receiving flowers from boys; other than the ones my little brothers would pick from the yard. I have always loved flowers and admired the rose gardens my mom had around our home. Riding my bike around her rose garden taught me to stay balanced because falling into the rose bushes will teach you a lesson or two about rose thorns, ouch!

There was also a time when I stopped wanting flowers from my significant other. I felt like they were simply a waste of money and useless. I mean, what do flowers do anyway? They just sit there, look pretty, and then they die. See what I mean? Useless! Not like a new pair of shoes or an outfit that can be used over and over again. Or jewelry that you can pass down to your family when you’re gone. Like really? No one has thought of this before? I remember even getting upset when I would receive flowers because I took it to be a passing gesture. I mean truly, you can’t even eat most flowers! Some will say that people usually have a constant thought in their mind during the day, mine usually involves food, or ummm, well ummm, ummm, anyway moving on! (Keeping it clean since I don’t know what age group is reading here).

Let’s just say that for me, flowers were just not as important as other things. Then I stopped getting them altogether. Or, I would get the flowers with a big local grocery store sticker around the plastic. Then I realized how I missed them. I missed getting the delivery; the cold vase, and the note in the middle of the mini garden that arrives saying you are loved. I missed feeling the presence of the person who sent them to me come with them. I missed the beauty. I had denied wanting them so much that I had turned against them, until they were gone. Now I love getting flowers at work. I feel like the person who sent them to me not only thought enough about me to send flowers, but that they want to be with me so much that their essence comes through the flowers. Now, let’s not get crazy and say that only flowers make me feel like this; I like chocolate covered anything and random gifts delivered too, duh! It just happens that flowers are on top of the list. I’ve been lucky to get them and accept them now. Sometimes I even buy them for myself, because I must remember to love me and my space enough to bring such beauty into it. I feel better when I can glance over at a beautiful bouquet of flowers and feel love. I love myself enough to know that I am worthy of such pretty little things. Flowers are not a waste of money, they are an investment in the relationship, even an investment of your own relationship with yourself. For now, while I am single, I buy my own flowers and I am perfectly ok with receiving my own self-love. My roommate also buys us flowers for the house and I embrace the practice. I know that when the right man comes, I will accept and appreciate flowers. In fact, I hope to keep the love alive into our 80’s and will still have flowers in our home. Here’s to hoping for true love and may you always get flowers!

In Love and Light,

Cinthia

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