I love speaking with women who are considerably older than me. My whole life I have always looked at women who were at least 20 years older than me to speak with about life lessons and how they have overcome obstacles. One thing is clear, stories repeat themselves, and the interactions between men and women will always be the same. The truth of the matter is that having healthy boundaries is what makes things work or fail. Practicing these boundaries is of course “practice,” because it becomes a challenge for men to attempt to get through the boundaries we place. It is up to us women to allow those boundaries to remain solid, or to allow them to be broken down. I think it is also clear to some extent, that we allow those boundaries to be broken when love is involved. As a strong woman, boundaries become more solid, and at times they can even become walls. There is truly a fine line. Having self-love means having healthy boundaries. The importance is in being self-aware enough to keep them from becoming steel walls that keep everyone away.
So in having this perfect conversation with my friend (who is a very youthful 72 years old sister), we spoke about the difference between being a girl and being a woman. In the past having been a young 30 year old girl, I had a need to be right. I also had the need to set things straight, and get justice for the wrong doings of other people. I had took it upon myself to have someone suffer as much as I had suffered, and felt like they would never understand how much pain they had caused in my life. Boy, I felt sorry for that poor guy who encountered me as a young girl!(No fun at all, let me tell ya!) Now at this age, I have no need to set anything straight, I don’t need justice, or to get even with anyone. First of all, because it isn’t that important. Second, because when someone believes they are right; there is nothing someone can do to change their mind. What is best in this instance is my inner knowing. When I was 30 it took me 4 years to come to terms with a failed relationship. This time around it took me 4 days!!!!! Not only can I love and forgive myself for having made a mistake, but I can also forgive those who were contributors. Yes, even the “good ol’ boys club” trying to save face in front of their wives now, acting as if they didn’t know their friend was in relationship with me. Even them, I forgive them because their loyalty will always be to their “boy.”
The thing is that if it were my sisters, I know they would’ve had my back too. I know for a fact that I love my sisters so much that I would support whatever made them happy. My love for someone doesn’t change based on their choices. Choices will be made where I don’t agree with them, but that doesn’t make them a person less worthy of my love. I actually respect the fact that in the sisterhood and brotherhood there are such bonds. Once again, Iron Sharpens Iron, and I’m all for that. So in wishing you and me the best, I certainly hope that your friendships and bonds are so strong that you are welcomed and accepted within your core group, and that regardless of the choices we make; that we are loved, accepted, and supported with what makes our life worth living!
In Love and Light,