After a week of dealing with visits to the Urgent care and then to the Emergency room, I finally had a serious conversation with God. I found myself sitting in an ultra sound room in silence for a while waiting for the technician. While I waited I sat there thinking about what had happened in the past week, and having to be on a regimen of antibiotics and other medication. See to me illness is not simply illness. Since I had thyroid cancer I have been very aware that illness has its originating root on feelings and emotional injuries. When these illnesses manifest, it is meant to bring attention to what is a symptom of a bigger problem.
The doctors found an ovarian cyst. I have never had one in my life and sometimes these things can go unnoticed if there are no symptoms. Sometimes they can be very painful if they rupture and the call to action is much more present. I also know that problems in the reproductive area can be considered emotional hurts related to relationships and worthiness. If you have been reading my blog, then you can correlate the whole journey. If you have not, then I suggest you get on it!! Haha!! There is a clear connection with the past year of having been in the situation I was in and the current physical pain being manifested here.
While speaking with God I also felt the love and support of my Velocity Family, my blood family, and the sisterhood (Velocity is a leadership program for people who are committed to changing their life- My life started changing dramatically since doing this type of work and this is the most current training Im involved with; if you’d like more information I’m happy to share, so here is a link http://spectrumlifedesign-la.com/freedom-course.html if you use my name as a referral you also get a discount! Hurray for little perks). Anyway, I felt that there was a deeper meaning to this pain I was dealing with. I realized that there was some hurt that needed to be healed, and this was more subconsciously rooted than I could see; unless something this painful happened I would not have looked deeper.
The most rewarding part is knowing this allows me to heal at a much deeper level, because no heartbreak is worthy of my health. I may have given my heart away with no reservations and the healing is taking sometime, but this is God saying wake up and see what you are doing to your body. I get it God…I promise I do! I surrender. I know that I am worth the fight, I am worth real, devoted, honest, loyal, love and that starts with me being loving, devoted, honest and loyal to myself first. I made a promise to myself and God to trust whatever His plan is.
For the time being I am thankful for the support of all those who have been through this with me this whole week. From my mom being at urgent care, ER, Cooking everything for thanksgiving, friends bringing yummy desserts, and homemade mac and cheese, brother and sister in law cooking up some of their great recipes like Flourless Chocolate Cake, and simply every single one person who has spent some time in my house over the past week. I can’t thank you enough!! I am even thankful for the chance destiny meeting I had Saturday night and the opportunity to heal my heartbreak a bit as well. I am not the type to stop loving a person simply because they are out of my life as you can see.
I know there is always more to life than meets the eye. Our deepest prayers are heard…especially the ones we don’t even know about are manifesting before our eyes. There are miracles to be had in every interaction. Babies coming into this world reminded me how amazing life can be, and how precious love can create such a magnificent miracle of life. This is where my head is….focusing on the miracle of life, love, health and trust. Have a great week!
In Love & Light,